Once again an AMEN! Black women need to start realizing what we've lost and the freedom that we've gained by losing it. We have to accept the fact that we will never have black men's love, commitment, or protection and that they will never give it to us. We have to acknowledge that they are going 90 mph on the freeway and are never going to look back because they don't want to. Why? Because so many black men will promise us love, commitment, or protection and themselves if we are able to achieve a forever moving goal post. Once we realize that these are things that are never coming that they will never give themselves to us, we will be able to let go of chasing a goal post. We can finally admit that it doesn't matter how feminine, submissive, nurturing, and self-sacrificing those promises will never be kept. We can finally admit that we're free to stop being the celebrated worn woman and the matriarchal mule.
Secondly, I find that a lot of the men who tell black women that if we stopped wearing a weave, that if we were less aggressive if we were slimmer, nice, submissive, etc. are men who are stringing black women along with the promise of a reward for catching a goal post they keep moving. Once a black woman is natural, all of a sudden it's 'now she's ugly and needs to get work done to appeal to a European standard of beauty.' Once a black woman is submissive and feminine then she needs to get out work money so she can sustain a 50/50 relationship. The goal post is constantly moving and while these women are focused on catching it so they can reap the rewards of a black man, black men are out and about living free lives, all while they benefit from our devotion, self-sacrifice, love, and labor. I'm telling you, this whole standard that black men set for black women to win them over is a scam.